Roadtrip Rampage!
by Scarlet Kratos
Summary: Kratos loses his breakfast, Sheena loses her pride, Colette nearly dies of a rotten piece of candy, and yet Presea seems to be rather fond of mustard...who knows what'll happen next? [...AU?][Kraine][Zeroshii][Gesea][Colloyd]
1. Prologue

Mei- Hah! Another humor/romance fic! 'Cept this one'll be really funny. And I guarantee you.

Kratos- Heh, right.

Mei- Oh yeah, the couples are Kraine (duh) Gensea (Is it called Gesea?), Colloyd, and Sheelos.

Kratos- YAY!

Mei- -.-u Ignore him. Anyways, we'll continue as usual.

**WARNINGS: **What can I say? This is a T-rated humor fic, so you can atleast expect _some _offensive swears. But anyways, in this chapter, there aren't any truly offensive stuff, but I warn you of crap and puke. No, seriously. There are some tiolet-involved stuff, but it's vague in general. And all the swears that _do _occur are just simply covered up. In other words, there isn't any language in this chapter. Good for the kiddies... lol

Raine- ToS doesn't belong to Scarlet Kratos, and you all should know that by now.

Mei- Uhh, here we go...

**oOoOo **

**Prologue **

"Holy crap, how can we all fit into this SUV?"

This question that had erupted from a boy's mouth seemed to mystify his companions. Well, most of them, anyways. Regal answered in an exasperated voice, "Lloyd, this was the biggest they had."

"But..." a red-headed male squinted, "Won't there be hell to pay - literally - later when the bills come? You said you paid it with a credit card or something."

"Do the details matter? All that is important is that this can comfortably fit nine people, driver and passengers. Is that not what we had agreed on searching for?" the thirty-three-year-old sighed.

"Yes... But it surprises me how it can fit that many people." a deep voice muttered from behind. Everyone (which was a lot of people, judging by the fact the one of the nine who had been missing had come back) turned around to look at the newcomer, which was a women - er, man, man! - who bore longish auburn hair.

"It also has a DVD player, which comes with a rather large screen that can also be used for those entertainment devices called video games." a young girl with salmon-pink strands commented. There was a trace of anger buried beneath her monotone voice. "We have all that we need. Enough food, space, and entertainment to last us an entire trip."

"Yeah, Presea's right." Lloyd replied, though he still seemed somewhat doubtful of the car's capicity.

"Let's go already." the eldest teenaged girl with raven hair said tartly and clambered onto the car. The vehicle was already packed with its supplies to last the roadtrip to their destination - why did they always have to waste so much valuable time on a chat about the thing that they were using to travel _with_?

"I'm sitting next to Sheena!" Within seconds of the delighted squeal, the perverted red-head had literally leaped into the SUV and had nearly crushed the poor girl. However 'poor' she seemed, she certainly didn't act like it. Sheena threw off the idiot to that his face collided with the window on the opposite side of the wheeled transportation system and nestled her own self down comfortably in the backseat, faraway from the dazed red-head. She looked up to see incredulous stares coming her way.

"What?" she snarled, sporting a light rose blush.

"Um... We'll get on now. And I have the seating arrangements." Regal chuckled nervously and unfurled a tightly furled scroll.

"Why'd you roll it up?" Lloyd asked skeptically, but he was answred by a roar of frustration from inside the car.

"Get on with the seating plan!" Sheena yelled, her hands curling up into fists. Lloyd was always and idiot and usually had a tendency to ask even stupider questions.

"Uh, yes, Zelos, Sheena, and Colette are sitting in in the backseat -" The now-impatient Regal was once more interrupted by Zelos. He let loose a thrilled scream of happiness, knowing he was going to sit next to cuties - perhaps even surrounded by them.

"No!" Regal closed his eyes impatiently as he heard Sheena's scandalized voice, unable to continue with his reading.

"Ignore them and keep going." Kratos instructed, looking nonchalant.

"Right." Regal looked back down at the curled-up paper, struggling not to yell out in intense fury. "Well, next, in the middle row, Genis, Presea, and Lloyd. And finally, up in front in the double-seated chair, will be Raine and Kratos. I'll be driving. Any questions?" He finished curtly, as though he were talking to insane schoolchildren. Which he most likely were.

"I do not mind." Kratos replied coolly, but one would notice why he looked rather apprehensive about something.

"Well, _I _do." his son interjected angrily. "Me and Colette will be separated."

"Oh well." Zelos poked his head out and stuck out his tongue. Lloyd turned a bright shade of crimson.

"Lloyd, it is 'Colette and I.' And it is better that way... You two have been flirting profusedly. I even once swore I caught you making out with her." Raine said mildly. Kratos looked sharply at his youngster... Who he now know was not as innocent as stupid as he seemed. Lloyd seemed to cringe down as though some invisible weight was crushing him.

"You _what_?" Kratos hissed, turning to face Lloyd.

"W-well, it's not like you and Raine haven't been doing the same either!" Lloyd responded bravely. Perhaps too much so.

"That is a lie." Raine said slowly after a long silence, looking at her student with a look of pure venom.

"Geez, uh, let's just pile into the car and get going, shall we?" her younger brother said quickly. Regal agreed quietly. Everyone but Kratos, Raine, and Lloyd piled into the car.

"We'll - we'll just forget about this." Raine muttered and slid into the front bench-like two-seater. She beckoned for the two to follow, who both seemed to have turned to stone.

"Oh, um... Right." Lloyd came in, but found he had to go back out soon as it took the combined effort of Sheena, Raine, Regal, and himself to get a petrified Kratos into the car.

Finally, after everyone had gotten into the dang vehicle, it was already past ten. They had planned to leave at nine. In an affronted voice, Regal swore out loud, which was very rare. As soon as they were beginning to pull out of the driveway, however, Colette shreiked that she had forgotten her diary.

After letting her out and going back into their large house to retreive the book, they set off again. At the highway entrance, however, Lloyd cried out in shock that he had left his copy of _Soul Calibur 2_, and they drove back to get it. When they went off _again, _Zelos whined that he was constipated and needed a restroom quickly. Regal swore louder than ever as they stopped by a gas station. The red-headed pervert dashed off to look for a bathroom. He came back looking as though he was sick and reported to them all that the gas station didn't _have _a bathroom. By now, half of them were muttering curses under their breaths as they once more returned to their home that housed them all.

Twn minutes later, Zelos has reappeared and came back into the car, but they noticed he looked nervous. When inquired why, he told them all that he had clogged up the toilet with his massive amount of droppings and urine along with bundles of toilet tissue. A truly disgusted Kratos left the car to go and fix the problem. When he returned, he looked rather green. Raine ushered him into his seat, but then he threw up all over the inside of the windsheild. All his breakfast content had been splattered out - half-digested pancakes, a bit of what seemed to be soggy toast, but the rest of the mess would leave even an expert at identifying puked food confused. Raine fussed over his clothing, which only had a bit of the gunk, while Regal fussed about the car.

Soon, they all toppled out in nausea. Raine had cleaned up Kratos, but now Regal had to hand-wash his precious car. It took hours, and by then, everyone was in a bad mood. It was almost one o'clock, and they still had not left for their roadtrip. They would've been half-way to the hot springs (which was far away and the first stop in their vacation) had there not been all this commotion, but nooo - Zelos just _had _to eat that burrito in the morning, which also gave him a weird odor in his breath.

When they left, whoever asked a question, even a suggestion of stopping, would receive death-stares from every other occupant in the car. Regal, however, would give them a gaze so threatening the victim would almost shrink into the darkness, obviously never wanting to see his eyes in the rearview mirror again.

Mostly, the first few hours was in silence, before Zelos said angrily, "Look, guys, I'm starving. Why can't we stop to eat?"

"Because we already had passed out sandwiches less than an hour ago." Sheena snarled.

"Yeah, Zelos." even Colette was cold. the naturally good-natured girl didn't feel so happy anymore, even if she was the first one who had caused the journey to be halted.

Zelos kept on whining and whining, acting like a complete sissy and idiot. Then suddenly, Sheena and Lloyd both at the exactly same time, reached out to grab a strand of the idiot's hair and yanked as though their lives depended on it.

What reasonated through the car made the driver and passengers almost lose their hearing; a shrill, loud, piercing shriek that seemed to rip through everyone's eardrums.

Oh, what hell the roadtrip would be.

**oOoOo**

Woo! That was long for a prologue! Anyways, I really like this story. Review if you do too!

Reviewers will get a cookie, made by yours truly. :D

Anyways and again, review if possible!

-Note: I'm only continueing if I get atleast 3 reviews. 'Kay?-

Okay! 'Buh 'bye!

oOo-Scarlet Kratos-oOo


	2. When Zelos got SERVED

Mei- Okay.Get this straight. I made this chapter a crapload of a long time ago, I was just too lazy/forgot to put it up, so here you go. Now, reading over this cappie, I find that it's not very good, very funny, or romantic, so sue meh.

Kratos- YES! SUE HER FOR ALL THE PAIN SHE HAS CAUSED ME!

Presea- ...He was not assigned the duty of 'muse'. Shall I kick him out?

Mei- Yes, please.

Presea- :does so:

Lloyd- ...I can almost imagine what that footprint would look like on his butt.

Regal- ...Yes, that would indeed not be a pleasant sight.

Mei- -.-u On with the traditional crap, please?

**WARNINGS: **Come on, this is rated T. USE YOUR DANG IMAGINATION.

Presea- Tales of Symphonia does not belong to Scarlet Kratos. Neither do I, or _Genis_, thank you very much.

Mei- ...You just want him to yourself... :growl:

Presea- ...

Mei- Okay, okay, whateva. Let's just get started.

**oOoOo**

**Chapter 1: When Zelos Got SERVED**

"...Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"Goddammit, NO!"

Colette, Lloyd, Presea, Genis, and Sheena vaguely watched their exchange of 'friendly' conversation. Regal had a vein throbbing in his temple, but otherwise he gave no sign of listening to Zelos and Kratos' chat. Raine had fallen asleep, her head limply falling onto Kratos' shoulder.

However, with the fact that Kratos' voice had risen to shout, the professor's eyes flickered open. She yawned and removed her head from the vicnity of him.

"Come on, when are we going to be there?" Zelos bawled and whined like an idiot, but no one really cared to answer him except for the enraged angel.

"I don't know, maybe nine o'clock?" Kratos replied, trying quite successfully to keep his temper down.

"No, more like eleven, because all of these forsaken traffic jams." Regal muttered out of the corner of his mouth, his hand gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles flushed a pearly white.

"ELEVEN!" Zelos screamed. "What about our food?"

Two simultaneous smacks could be heard from the back and more squeals of pain followed. Finally, Colette and Sheena said at the same time,

"Pipe down."

Lloyd looked as though he was being suffocated; he was trying that hard not to laugh.

"Besides, we'll eat later. It's only six o'clock." Genis said casually, leaning back on his seat. Zelos looked murderous.

"Oh, quit it. You're ruining this trip for everyone." Sheena snapped, whipping her hand out again. Zelos stared at her weapon in terror, keeping his lips tightly shut.

"She's sure right about that..." Raine muttered to Kratos, who nodded darkly in agreement.

"Perhaps we should engage in the activity of keeping Zelos busy?" Presea asked to no one in particular.

"That might work. But... With what?" Genis glanced over at the former ax-wielder, who was lost in deep thought.

"Before we had left Symphonia... Life there was so nice." Colette sighed, going completely off-topic. But then she swerved back on again. "Back there, all we had to do was go to the beach and Zelos wouldn't be so annoying."

"Heh, and we all know why." Sheena gazed at Zelos, who chuckled.

"What? Hot babes all around me in bikinis; how could I not be in heaven?"

"Ugh, you haven't changed a bit, I see."

"...I have an idea, but I am afraid it is a brutal one." Presea said slowly.

"Brutal? We need that." Lloyd replied, looking anxious for the answer.

"I suppose we could do it... But is it possibly the best thing to do?"

"Please tell us what you mean." Colette urged.

Presea waved them all to come closer, but Sheena pushed Zelos back with her hand as she leaned toward her.

"Well... We must..." Any words beyond that had drifted off into a whisper. After a few seconds or so, however, Colette and Sheena had burst out in a fit of giggles and Lloyd was once again trying to prevent himself from laughing hard. Genis, however, had an evil smirk on his face.

"I'm afraid to know what's going on..." Raine sighed and leaned into the ex-seraphim, who gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Just ignore them." he advised in a soft voice. Lloyd, who had seen this activity, immediately stopped laughing and stared, wide-eyed at his old teacher and father in horror.

"Dad!" Lloyd gasped. "I-I was joking before! I didn't know you were really going out with Professor Sage!"

Kratos looked over his shoulder, his mahogany eyes hiding a bit of anger.

"Look, whoever I love is not your concern." he responded in a stern voice and looked back at Raine, who was trying to act nonchalent.

"Man, who knew?" Lloyd winced as he turned back around.

"I did. Haven't you seen them together so many times?" Genis said airily. "Anyways, come on. Let's get the plan into action!"

Within the next ten minutes, Regal, Kratos, and Raine all heard odd noises that sounded like muffled screams. Kratos twisted his head around only to gape at the actions behind him.

Colette and Sheena we struggling to wrap a long, lengthy piece of bandage around Zelos' head to cover his mouth, which seemed to be emiting the eery sounds. Genis and Lloyd kept on tossing them extra pieces of the linen material. Colette went down to work on his wrists, which she seemed be tying together. As the time passed, they were finished.

"Now that we've done it, don't you think it's a bit too, um, evil or something?" Colette, inquired, looking slightly abashed.

"I warned you it would have been brutal." Presea said, crossing her arms.

"Nah, it's fine." Lloyd said lazily and lay back in his seat, enjoying the renewed piece and quiet.

"Did you give him atleast some way to breathe?" Raine asked, turning around and kneeling so she could see.

"Yep. The bandages are thin but strong, so that he can breathe through his mouth but still can't break through it, or he can simply use his nostrils, which we left untouched." Sheena smiled.

"I have one last question - where did you exactly _get _the bandages?" Raine asked suspiciously.

The five looked at eachother, who all finally glanced at Lloyd... Who lifted up a small white box with a red cross on it.

"...If any of you are dying, don't look at me to help." Raine said angrily.

"Why? What does this box have?" Lloyd asked curiously.

"It's a first-aid kit. And because I am restricted from using magic in this land, I can't save you with my own power - so if you're bleeding or in intense pain, look for someone else, because there is no WAY I'll be helping anyone with a kit that has lost all of it's bandages."

"...We can simply buy more of these bandages in the next shopping centre." Presea said mildly.

"...Hmph, if you can find them."

The car hushed.

Lloyd looked around nervously, and seeing no one in partiular was eyeing him evilly - well, _besides _Zelos, but then again, he was giving everyone the evil eye - he decided to get some sleep.

Lloyd yawned massively and leaned his head on Genis' shoulder before drifting off.

"Martel, he always uses me as his pillow..." Genis muttered, attempting but failing to shove off the hulking mass on him.

"May I as well?" Presea asked, her eyelids slowly sneaking down.

"S-sure!" The mage blushed a deep crimson as she gently stroked his arm and leaned her head on his other shoulder.

"Aw, isn't that so cute?" Raine giggled, watching the three-some.

"Heh, looks uncomfortable." Kratos chuckled.

"Yes!" Regal whispered as to not wake up the sleeping occupants of the car. "We're out of the jam! We'll probably reach hot springs in about a few hours. In other words, at about ten o'clock."

"Excellent. One hour less of being crushed to death." Genis whispered. Raine noticed he only kept his arm slung around Presea; Lloyd got nothing.

"I thought you enjoyed that position...?" Raine looked at him questionably.

"I'd enjoy it if it was only Presea sleeping on me, not Lloyd." Genis responded tartly.

"Then why don't you get some sleep before we stop for some food?" she smiled. Genis sighed, and then looked down at his two invaders.

"How can I?" he pleaded her for an answer. "I can't sleep with my head on Presea; she's not that used to me, um... Uh, l-liking her... And can't lean on Lloyd, as he can get pretty rough when he sleeps."

"You figure it out." she replied and turned around again so that her back was to him.

Sheena leaned forward so that her head was next to Genis'.

"Choose Presea. She'd like it." the summoner giggled softly at the look of perpetual embarressment on the boy's face.

"O-okay..."

Within minutes, Genis had fallen into a restless sleep as well. Soon, Colette and Raine joined him, their heads sloping onto the nearest person's shoulder; Colette, being Zelos and Raine's Kratos. Only Sheena, Kratos, Zelos and Regal remained awake.

"Mmmmmffftt!" Zelos tried to complain, but one would notice he was delighted of being Colette's pillow.

"Oh shut up, you." Sheena muttered, smacking him hard on top of the head. Zelos slumped backward, knocked out from obvious lack of air and from the force of the hit.

Kratos himself was losing consciousness.

"Oi, Kratos." Sheena called softly from the back. Kratos slowly tilted his head back so as not to wake up the sleeping healer.

"Yes?"

"When did you and Raine first go out together? I mean, I saw you plenty of times with her, but I never knew when you two first kissed..."

"I... I'm not sure." Kratos said feverishly. "It was a long time ago, when we were back in Symphonia..."

"Ah... So it was about a year ago..." the summoner looked thoughtful.

"Somewhat longer." Kratos dare not stress anything; he did not like anyone privying into his private thoughts.

"It's best if we don't talk until we reach the nearest restaurant. We need not wake Zelos." Regal said to the two of them.

"Oh... Right. He can still be pretty loud even when he's bound up..." Sheena lay back onto her seat, using Zelos as a pillow as well. She never thought she'd be doing it, but Sheena found she rather enjoyed Zelos' company...

...When he was asleep.

Sheena giggled to herself; Zelos could be pretty nice when he wanted to, though...

The world began fading from her vision, as did Kratos'. As the time drifted ildly by, Regal was soon the only person awake. The silence pooled around him, with only the occassional grunt from the back.

Regal didn't mind. From what had happened before, this pure silence was like heaven.

**oOoOo**

For those of you who think there will be Zelette, BURN. Because Sheelos is an official couple and I hope you all know it.

...Well, theres's no offense to anyone, of course. :P

Anyways... (Holy crap... _That _many peeps reviewed? D:)

**Review Time!**

Yuan's Angel: That constipated-Zelos idea formed when I was constipated. XD No, seriously, it did. BLAME THE EVIL FOOD.

RavenGhost: Ohhhhh yes. Lots of that. CHAOS GALORE! X3

DeadEdBoy: Here ya go then!

Streek-has-returned471: I would have done that, but by the time I read your review it was too late and I already liked the crap I already had. :o Thanks anyways. :P

RufusTheMaster: You'll get your cookie soon, dun worry. :D

Midnight Eclipse713: Meh, thanks. X3

Colette the Klutz: Sorreh if thise part wasn't quickly posted on, but the next few probably will. :)

lalalalala2: Oh well, I'm not that funny. Well, not as funny at Guinea Pig Luver, anyways. :D

J.G. the Master Gamer: OMG... You read my mind! X3

Deina Youree Sage Astustiburi: (If I got your name wrong, you can sue me...) NUUUUU! I updated, so can you call the drunken Zelod back now? o.0u (XD)

DoctorDaigrui:P Thanks a lot! I tried my best. And I still do, come to think of it...

Miokiu: Then this is for you too. X3

Aldia: If the same thing happened to you, I'd pity you. I never want the face the terror any of those crammed into the car had. XD

X-Mirai-X: Thankies. :D And I wanted three reviews; look what I got? X3

Miss Raine Sage: X3 Mmmmm'yes. Kraine does rule, neh?

:feels luffed:

I really can't believe all of you peeps reviewed...

It just makes me all warm and fluffy inside when I realize all you peeps like my story(ies).

Oh, and because RufusTheMaster asked so kindly...

:tosses out cookie to all reviwers:

BTW, three (3, count that on your fingers...) reviews equals a high chance of seeing the next chappie soon. So, review, pleeeeaaaaase! X3

oOo-Scarlet Kratos-oOo


	3. From the Weird to the Scary

Mei- Okay, first thing you need to know - this chapter isn't funny at all. At the moment, it's like half cliffie, half filler.

Kratos- Kraine. X3

Mei- For Martel's sake, Kratos, you are _not _a muse for this story, so go away!

Kratos- Kraine. ;-;

Mei- ...Damned bastard.

Raine- :comes in and ushers Kratos out:

Mei- _Thank you._ Now we can continue.

**WARNINGS: **For pete's sake, if I can swear in the tabs, then I can swear in t3h storeh. Got it?

Presea- ...Kratos is behaving oddly.

Lloyd- Hell yes he is. I'm even ashamed of being his son.

Mei- W00t. Go you.

Regal- ...

Mei- Disclaimer, please. :holds up sword threateningly at Regal:

Regal- Um, um, um, we Symphonian characters and anything else from the game do not belong to Scarlet Kratos. But she does own a rather large collection of severed heads...

Mei- YOU GAVE AWAY MY SECRET, DAMMIT. D:

Regal, Lloyd, & Presea- :runs away:

Mei- ...Oh whatever. I can catch them later. :insert evil lughter here: That means I'll just have to start the story now...

**oOoOo**

**Chapter 2: From the Weird to the Scary **

The lights filtered into the car, where its riders were sleeping. However, Regal waited impatiently in his seat, trying to awaken his companions, but to no avail.

Within ten minutes, Regal sighed and decided to wake up Lloyd in a physical way. He gently tapped the swordsman on the head, who merely snored louder than ever and nestled his head more comfortably into Genis' shoulder.

"...Why must Lloyd sleep so deeply?" Regal muttered. After a few more failed attempts, he decided to move onto Kratos, who was generally a light sleeper. But light was not the word... When Regal's hand merely brushed the skin of his arm, Kratos jumped three feet out of his seat. Unfortunately for him, the seatbelt firmly held unto him, so he felt indescribable pain in his shoulders.

"Ow..."

"Heh, hello to you too."

"Oh, uh, hi." Kratos sounded unfocused, with the fact his shoulders were still sore. After a few seconds, though, he glanced out the window. "Why are we at the hot springs already? Lloyd told me that we were going to have a dinner break."

"Since you were all asleep, I figured it would be more convienant if I went straight to the hot springs." Regal shrugged. "But now I need help getting everyone up."

"Just a moment." Kratos looked back down at the sleeping form of Raine and gently stroked her cheek. She murmured something undecipherable. "Raine...Wake up..."

"...Wha?" her blue irises revealed themselves under a curtain of silvery cyan hair. "Uh... Oh, where are we?"

"At the hotel already. Come on, we need help getting everyone up."

Raine nodded, but before moving onto the two rows of sleeping 'victims', she gave Kratos a quick kiss on the lips. After this, the drowsy professor hopped out of the vehicle and opened the next door.

"Lloyd! Wake up!" Knowing how hard it was to wake the swordsman up (on past experiences), Raine grabbed a small hard-cover book from her pocket of her jeans and slammed it down onto his head.

"AAAAGGGHHHH!"

She smiled. Raine knew that if Lloyd woke up, so would everyone else.

**oOo**

Lloyd rubbed his eyes. The harsh glare of the lights hurt.

"You scream so loudly..." Genis moaned, stumbling face-down onto his bed.

"Yeah, well, it's not my fault the Professor thought it'd be funny to ram a book onto my head." he muttered in reply.

"But I note your mouth was practically three inches away from my ear..."

Lloyd got an anime sweatdrop.

"Well, it's not my fault your shoulder is like a pillow..."

"Meh, atleast you didn't kill Presea or something. Your arms felt like studded clubs." Genis said bitterly, subconsciously rubbing his stomach. The sweatdrop remained plastered to Lloyd's forehead as he dumped his suitcase onto the chair beside his bed.

"Yeah, but I'm lucky that you're my room buddy. I mean, if it was Zelos or something, I'd be in total -"

"- Heart-stopping endless torture. Right, Sir Bud?" Genis smirked as he sat back up on his bed, his back leaning against the wall.

"Oh, shut up, you." Lloyd growled.

Genis snickered behind his hand.

As Colette walked by their door, she wondered by she heard a loud THUMP quickly followed by another. Shrugging, she continued on her way back to her room.

She had no idea Genis lay moaning on the floor, holding his left cheek, with Lloyd stomping away, rubbing his well-used fist.

**oOo**

Raine changed out of her clothing, which she tossed into a bag nearby. She slipped on a cleaner T-shirt and with jean shorts and pulled the belt tight around her waist.

She felt light pressure on her shoulder and giggled as she realized who it was.

"Kratos..."

He playfully licked her neck, causing another eruption of gentle laughter.

"Come on, stop playing with me."

"Well, is that what you're going to wear? Because I think it's not Raine-like at all." Kratos teased her.

"Ah, well, we're going to eat, so... I figured maybe I'd wear something that wasn't well, _Raine-like_." Raine replied airily.

Kratos smirked.

Within two seconds, Raine found herself up in the air, with her limbs thrashing around wildly.

"Kratos!" she squealed helplessly.

"Heh, then let me carry you there..."

**oOo**

Sheena sat down on her bed, her hand sliding silently across the smooth, cool sheets. She smiled. She would probably get a good night's sleep.

Looking up at Sheena heard the door open, she found herself in the vicnity of Colette.

"Hey Sheena." Colette says, throwing herself down beside Sheena, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep, just waiting for you."

Colette smiled and nodded, and the two girls headed out of their room.

Sheena smiled inwardly. She was just lucky enough not to be in a room with Zelos.

**oOo**

Regal glanced at the clock and impatiently tapped his foot.

"Presea, are you almost finished? Because the others are expecting us at the restaurant now."

He heard a muffled reply from the door with words he could not decipher. The ex-convict leaned against the wall, humming some unknown tune as he waited.

And then the door opened.

His eyes widened in shock.

Presea had tied her long, unruly fuschia hair into a tightbun, with a few long strands dangling from the top and running down to slither on her neck. Small sapphire earrings looked with fragments of her large, mirror-image orbs, and she wore a Chinese-styled dress that had golden patterns on the edges. A small sapphire pendant draped down from her neck with a silver chain, glistening cyan in the bright light.

She looked so much like Alicia...

"Um, I realize I was not asked to dress formally, but I did not know what else to wear." she said nervously.

"...It's alright. Now, come on, we must hurry."

**oOo**

Zelos grumbled angrily, tossing on a T-shirt and tan jeans and tying his long, crimson hair into a long ponytail. Why couldn't _he _be in a room with Raine or Presea, like Regal and Kratos? It wasn't fair.

But then again, Kratos and Raine were practically inseperable and Presea preferred Regal over Zelos, the two remaining people. Everyone else had paired themselves up with a close friend.

He crammed on some clean socks and sneakers, and in his blind fury, stubbed his toe on the door. Much swearing and cursing went on as he rubbed his sore foot before slipping his sneaker back on and re-lacing it.

When the door rammed closed, his forgotten key fell to the floor along with some hanged pictures.

**oOo**

They all met in the late-opening restaurant. Raine first refused to go in, saying Genis was too young to enter. Regal insisted that this was the only food sold at the hotel this late and there was no way he was driving at midnight. So, finally, giving in unwillingly, the group trudged in, some looking happier than others.

It was a nightclub. A _wild _nightclub. Raine's worst nightmare was confirmed.

Everywhere, people in both casual and formal clothing, danced, ate, and drank gallons worth of alcohol. Women danced on high platforms raised high above the wild crowd of people, who each bore their own assortment of revealing garments.

Genis and Presea had to be sent to another part of the restaurant for the children, where adults specifically weren't allowed. Raine said sternly that it was alright as long as they were safe, well-fed and had fun.

"Safe, well-fed, and 'fun' my ass..." Genis muttered quietly to no one in particular.

"Have fun at the daycare, (A/N: That really should be nightcare...) darlings!" Zelos called in a mock-concerned voice at their retreating backs. His evil comment was quickly followedby a loud smacking noise and a ear-splitting squeal of agony.

Genis smirked. He glanced over at Presea, and seeing her worried expression, his grin quickly faded.

"What's wrong?"

"I... I hope Zelos is alright. His scream was 2.2 percent louder than normal."

Genis laughed at her concern. Presea glanced at him, looking rather hurt. He quickly half-choked himself and said, "Don't worry. Sheena wouldn't want to hurt him _that_ badly, right?"

"I...I suppose so."

Their awkward silence was shattered by the loud music and immense amount of assorted laughter and chatter. They glanced back, and saw the rest struggle to find a seating area for all of them.

They walked into the 'daycare', seeing a video game alcove that contained a few large-screen TVs and shelves and shelves full of games. Another corner had books of every color, size, shape, and kind, all placed in alphbetical order and age group upon large, grand mahogany bookcases with worn intricately carved detail. Another entire side of the room was dedicated to the artistic crowd; piles and piles of clean, unused paper were put in neat piles by large cases of pencils, brushes, pens, and markers. Crayons, colored pencils, and paint sets were clumped in groups. All materials were spread out on a large rectangular table. Chairs were pushed in unceremonially all around the table. It was a child writers' and artists' dream come true. A smaller corner contained the younger children's toys. Stuffed animals overflowed from overstuffed boxes, while other toys littered the ground like dust.

A few children, ranging from ages four to fifteen were lolling around everywhere on the scattered benches, chairs, and sofas, each doing absolutely nothing but staring absesntmindedly at the ceiling and wishing their parents and guardians would hurry up with their fun, while other had the time of their lives.

Another door led to a small hallway which opened to a large cafetorium. A huge opening in the wall revealing the counter and cash registers where the children got their meals, and tables and chairs were crammed into the room so movement was rather halted.

"Well, um, d-do you want to eat?" Genis asked Presea nervously, trying as hard as his will allowed him to stop stuttering.

"I... I am not very hungry at the moment." the ax-weilder looked at him undecisively.

"Y-you... Um... W-well... I didn't tell y-you this ear-earlier, but you l-look really pr-pretty..." the mage was amazed he managed to get that out of his mouth without gasping for breath.

"...Thank you." Presea smiled gently. She laced her finger together with his.

A blush creeped up from his neck.

_So she wasn't oblivious to my infatuation... _Genis thought contentedly.

Presea kept closer to him as they returned to the other room of 'fun' and went to sit down on one of the loveseat couches where two people fit quite snugly. Genis blushed as she half-sat on him, seeing at the sofa was rather small.

After a few minutes, a loud rumble seemed to ram into Genis' eardrums. He moaned.

"Genis, are you hungry? Because we can go eat if you wish." Presea's soft voice was like music to his ears. Either that, or he was starving.

"Sure... If you want to." Genis was proud the way he kept his voice clear of stuttering. They stumbled off the sofa. Presea nearly fell onto her face, but Genis caught her by the waist with his arm.

"Thank you."

Presea pecked his cheek as they entered the cafetorium. There was blushing galore. 

**oOo**

Raine seemed to be lost in the crowd. She looked around frantically. A rough hand grabbed her wrist as she squeezed through the crowd. Raine yelped in surprise and terror.

Her captor revealed himself to be-

"Kratos! Don't - don't do that!"

"I'm sorry. It's just that you would have gotten lost if I didn't."

The ex-seraph reeled in her in toward his chest, their hands clasped together.

"Where is everybody?" she asked in ear.

"They're all at seperate tables. I guess we'll have to look for one too."

Raine stretched herself up to her maximum height so she could get a view of empty tables.

_Dammit! I'm too short... _Raine cursed her stunted height. She looked up at Kratos, whose eyes were darting from place to place.

"Wait - I see an empty table. Come on." Kratos shoved a way through the thick mass of humans, one hand still clinging to Raine. It took them several minutes to get through - almost like hours to the healer.

Finally, Raine found herself being seated by the swordsman, who slid in the leather cough beside her. A small circular table stood in front of them, a small lighted candle in a pretty glass cup placed in exactly the center.

The swirling colorful lights flashed and flickered, nearly blinding Raine.

"I don't like this place at all..."

"Don't worry - if you want, we could leave as soon as we finish eating and tell the others."

"But don't you want to stay?" Raine watched Kratos violently shake his head. His auburn hair seemed to be tinged cerulean as a rogue blue light found their way.

"I hate these types of places as well. Let us just order our food and leave."

"Okay, if you want..."

"Well, first, wait here. I need to use a rest room." Kratos informed her as he slid back out of his seat.

Raine sat there, alone, feeling quite dizzy. Another hand grabbed her waiting wrist which had been lying there aimlessly.

"Aaah! Let go!"

**oOoOo**

...Nya nya nya nya, you'll have to find out who's hand that is later. X3

**Review Time!**

Suzu Fujibayashi: Well, here it is. :D And I didn't add that 'unbandaging Zelos' part in this chapter, but you obviously know they free him from his binds. X3

Streek-has-returned471: Sure, I'll try.

lalalalala2: Look, I'm not here to argue. Just read 'Rodeo Ride Tour' by Winged Dancer, and you'll see. And if you don't like this story, then I remind you that I'm not forcing you to read it. :o

PowHammer: Heh, thanks. I always love the friendly reviewers. :D

Roi-Tan: What? What do you mean by 'choice'?

Lil'EdtheHacker40: X3 Keep that hammer. Trust me, you'll definetely need it if you're a Kraine fan.

RavenGhost: Yeah, isn't it a miracle? Zelos is finally quiet for once. :P

Midnight Eclipse713: Um... Not lots, just some. Is that okay:D

X-Miria-X: I always hand out cookies for reviwers. Didn't you know:P Maybe I'll use your idea, but I've already got the next chapter's general shape down, so.. Yeah. But I'm not sure if they get back on the road after the next chapter of the one after that... :shrugs:

Scorch the hedgehog: I feel your pain. D:

I just have a note to say to you all; if you don't like my story, don't read it. I hate it when some people just give me a worthless review or tell me their opinions on how some of the couples won't work, and I want positive support so that I know if I continue, it won't be a waste of time.

Anyways, on a more positive note...

COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!

:throws out the cookies into the crowd:

X3

I'm telling you one thing; the more positive reviews I get, the higher chance you'll see your next chappie very soon. :P

So, cya all later!

oOo-Scarlet Kratos-oOo


	4. BUSTED

Mei- Meh, chapter three is here.

Sycara- You're not very bright, are you?

Mei- Shut up you.

Sycara- :gleefully runs away:

Mei- :sigh: Sycara is my ever-so-annoying OC. She might pop in a few times in the story, along with my friend Eon here...

Eon- You made me a fool in -

Mei- SHHHHHH! You're gonna give a surprise away, you meanie! >:O

Eon- ...

Presea-...I sense much tention around here.

Regal-...

Lloyd-...I want toast. ;-;

Mei- ...Bunch of idiots. >.>

**WARNINGS: **Massive OCs, fluffiness, a little bit of swearing (I think, anyways...), and some naughtiness. X3 If you dun like that, then I suggest you run away. NOW.

Mei- Ha ha.

Lloyd- GIVE ME TOAST, DAMMIT. >:O

Mei- Shut up about the damned toast and get on with the disclaimer.

Lloyd- :sob:

Mei- :raises sword angrily:

Lloyd- Um, um, ToS doesn't belong to SK, BUT MY PAYMENT OF TOAST DOES. NOW, GIMME. >:O

Mei- ... :tosses toast at him:

Lloyd- :gleefully runs away:

Mei- I told you; they're a bunch of idiots. Anyways...

**oOoOo**

**Chapter 3: BUSTED **

His eyes gleamed a golden color.

Raine was afraid, as much as she hated to admit it.

"'Ello, my pretty... Would you care for a dance?"

His breath was gritty with the smell of strong beer. Limp strands of blonde hair covered half his face. His jagged, wild hair stuck up from his head. He looked rather handsome, but that was not what Raine thought at the moment. He looked like a cross between Yggdrassil and Kratos.

Oddly, that made things worse.

"No! Let me go." Raine said firmly, yanking her hands from his grasp.

"Ah, touchy, aren't you? Are you sure you don't want to take your offer back?" he hissed in a sexy voice. Raine gulped and backed into the wall.

"Go away." As he came closer, Raine kept him at arms distance.

"Aw... Don't turn me down like that..." he crept closer. Their faces were millimeters apart.

"No, get away from me!"

Their lips were so close...

"You know you want me." he whispered.

His hand was reaching out...

"AGH!"

He was thrown back about twenty feet. Raine stomped the ground after lowering her raised leg.

"I hope that teaches you to leave me alone, you perverted bastard!" she yelled.

He was slammed into a table and was thrown onto the wall, where he crumpled down onto the floor. People looked at Raine fearfully and for a few seconds, the loud noises halted, but continued quickly again.

She swept her sweat-drenched bangs back as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Jerking around, she found herself looking up at mahogany eyes.

"I'm sorry." Kratos whispered, reaching for her hand.

"...You saw all of that?"

"...Yes... I would have stopped him had you not done it for me." Kratos' eyes darted down to the ground.

"How could I be angry at you for that?" Raine smiled. She pressed her hand against his cheek to lift his eyes back up to her face.

"I..."

"Shhh..." she placed a finger on his lips before closing the short distance between them.

**oOo**

Zelos leaned back in his seat, bored.

Meh, he never really liked nightclubs. Usually all the cute girls were all deep in conversations with other boys already, and all the available women were out of his liking.

"I thought this would be your heaven."

Zelos looked up bemusedly, finding himself staring at Sheena's large bust.

"It is now." he smirked, receiving a smack across the cheek.

"Owwwww..."

"Why are you so perverted? Geez, I hoped atleast for two seconds you wouldn't stare at my chest." Sheena said huffily before sliding down next to him.

"Yeah, well, it's not my fault they're so _big_." Zelos whined, getting another bruise. "Why must you harm my beautiful face?"

"Because you're a stupid pervert, that's why." the summoner snapped, turning away from him. Zelos took this as his chance. He slipped his arms beneath hers to wrap around her waist.

"Agh! Zelos! Let go!"

"Aw... But you're so soft!" Zelos complained. It took Sheena ten minutes to rip off his tight grasp and throw him off. When she turned around, however, Zelos darted forward again. This time, it was their lips that connected. Sheena _wanted _to get him off, but the truth was... Well... She didn't really want to either.

Their kiss became more passionate as the time progressed. Zelos found himself on top of Sheena, one arm encircling her waist and another hand on the top of her head, while Sheena's arms had snaked their way around his neck. Finally, Zelos forced his way into her mouth, where he was met by a yelp and her slippery tongue, but Sheena didn't protest other than that. Their kiss continued until Sheena was whimpering... Which was a rare sight.

"Oh my Martel! Sheena! Did I crush you?" Zelos pulled her up, checking up and down her body for any bruises.

"N-no..." When he looked up at her face, he could tell it wasn't that.

"I... I'm sorry." He got up to leave, trying desperately to get away before she either began crying or kicked him in the crotch.

He didn't get either.

He found his wrist in her grasp, her eyes looking pleading. It wasn't something he saw every day, so he sat back down.

"Zelos... Was that just one of your usual attacks or was it...?"

"Was it what?" he rasied an eyebrow.

"I... Well... No, never mind." Sheena turned around, unable to say anything else. They sat in silence for a long time, ignoring the loud mayhem of the nightclub.

Zelos' head dropped onto her shoulder with his arms limply wrapped around her waist. He seemed to be in a light sleep. Sheena sighed, and stroked the top of his head. Life was going to be slightly different now...

**oOo**

The hallway lights seemed to be dim compared to the other brilliantly bright ones they had become so accustomed to from the club, with the exception of Genis and Presea.

Everyone who had made it to their rooms had changed and fell asleep as soon as their bodies hit the beds. However, poor Regal wasn't fast enough when he heard rapid knocking on their door.

Opening it, he saw Zelos looking rather grave with his hair sticking up at odd angles.

"What is it?" Regal mumbled drowsily.

"I locked my key in my room."

"You... What?" Regal couldn't register the words in his current state.

"I - locked - my - key - in - my - room." Zelos repeated slowly but impatiently.

"YOU WHAT?" And that's why Presea's sweet dreams were suddenly interrupted.

Regal followed Zelos to Lloyd and Genis' room, all the while muttering curses. He rapped his knuckles on their door.

Genis opened the door, his silver hair wild, eyes blank, and pajamas wrinkled.

"Wha?"

"Can Zelos sleep in your room tonight? He locked his key in his room, and the front desk is closed by 2 o'clock in the morning."

"...S'long as he gets Lloyd's bed or the floor..." Genis let Zelos in. The threesome bade eachother goodnight, and Zelos found himself standing alone as Genis climbed under the covers.

"Where do I sleep?" Zelos whined.

"On the damn floor." Genis replied grouchily, and turning over, he fell alseep instantly.

So, Zelos sneaked into Lloyd's bed, who was snoring rather loudly...

...And a scream that morning woke up Zelos, Genis, and their neighbors on either side.

**oOo**

The group had gathered in the breakfast cafe... Well, all except Regal.

He was forced to run around the main lobby, talk to the front desk manager to get another key, run all the way up the stairs, jam the key into the lock on Zelos' door to find out it wasn't the right one, run all the way back down to give it to the manager and complain, get another key and go all the way back and repeat the process, and finally get Zelos' key, only to stumble in his blind excitement and fall down the many sets of stairs. ((A/N: Run on sentences are AWESOME. X3)) He looked thoroughly defeated and battered as he walked in.

Raine _tsk-tsk_ed and hurriedly looked around before casting a weak First Aid on Regal. She hoped none of the humans around the group noticed that the small wounds just suddenly disppeared.

"Shall breakfast commence now that we are all here?" Presea asked simply.

"Wha? What does that mean?" Lloyd inquired, looking rather confused.

"I think it means we can begin eating now." Colette giggles, picking up Lloyd's spoon and feeding him a large helping of cereal.

Breakfast was, in most eyes, chaotic. Cereal flew everywhere, milk was splashed onto the floor, butter was smothered onto the table, and other wide assortments of food were haphazardly consumed.

"Kratos!" Raine tugged her toast away, looking sadly at the large piece that had been ripped away. "This is my breakfast! ...Or, it _was_..."

"So I have to starve?" Kratos blinked innocently.

"...Oh, fine..." Raine sighed. She buttered him another slice of toast, and held it out. He took bite after bite from her waiting pam until all that was left were a few buttery crumbs. Kratos went in for it again, licking her hand.

"Kratos!" she laughed.

"We are in _public_, thanks." Regal hissed, jerking his head at the crowds around them. A few paretns were staring, concerned, at Raine and Kratos and probably wondering whether this was safe place for their children.

"Sorry." Kratos said apologetically.

"...Weirdos..." Lloyd muttered.

Presea, meanwhile, was ildly taking bite after bite out of her muffin, sometimes letting Genis have a nibble. Ignoring everything that happened around them, the two teenagers were in blissful silence. Genis downed the late of the milk, after Presea let him have the last few pieces of the muffin. She giggled.

"Agh... Whatever..." Regal turned around with his mug of coffee and toast, trying hard to look like he didn't belong in their group.

Sheena and Zelos sat on either side of eachother, both trying to catch the other's eye but looking away when their lines of vision did connect.

"What's going on between them?" Colette whispered to Lloyd after taking a sip of chocolate milk.

"I don't know... But they're acting really strange..." Lloyd replied back behind his cupped hand.

How indeed right he was.

**oOo**

A few minutes after breakfast, the time finally arrived for the hot springs.

Rumors went around that Zelos did try to peek at the girls, but failed miserably... (No further comment needed.)

And that Lloyd and Colette were caught making out by one angry angel in the boy's bathroom... ((A/N: cough))

And that Raine and Kratos changed _in the same damned room_... (As put by Lloyd.)

And that Zelos was caught kissing his reflection... (Which was when he screamed when he realized his face was bruised.)

To put it simply, that morning was hectic... Especially since everyone was half asleep and grouchy.

**oOo**

Raine snuggled closer to Kratos under the cover of the heated water. His strong arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Finally... We're together... And alone." the Professor sighed, tucking her head under his own.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Kratos chuckled. Raine responded by gently stroking his chest, something he still wasn't used to. He blushed.

"You have nice abs..." she purred.

"Y-you think so?"

"Yeah.."

And they kissed. Kratos felt his back being pressed against the side of the basin as Raine wrapped her arms around his neck and head. He blindly found her waist in the water and they snaked their way around. Their tongues collided as Kratos explored her mouth.

"Heh, dad finds me doing it and I find him doing it as well." They heard a voice to their left, where the door was located. Shocked, they halted the kiss and looked up at Lloyd in his swimming shorts.

"Lloyd! Th-this is _our_ small pool! You others all have different ones!" Kratos snapped angrily, but a blush spread over his cheeks.

"So? Regal told me to check on you. He said don't do anything _drastic_." Lloyd smirked as he left, clothing the door behind him. He left Kratos fuming and Raine trying to calm him down.

"What can he do?" she said asurringly, stroking Kratos' cheek.

"I.. Well.. He's just so annoying these days." Kratos sighed, putting his hand over hers. Raine smiled.

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me..."

Little did they know...

**oOoOo**

Cliffie. :P

:gets shot:

Anyways, see? I TOLD you; lots of fluffiness and OOCness. :D And the chapter was very short because I didn't want to go into much detail.

And Kratos and Raine were NOT naked in the hot springs, dammit. >:O

:gets shot again:

MEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEE!

:gets shot in the eye:

Okay, okay... x.0u

**Review Time!**

chaos0619: Updated. :D

Streek-the-hedgehog471: Hmmm... They do... Oh well. :shrugs:

Gyppygirl2021: I dunno. They should, though. :P

Miss Raine Sage: Yes, Kraine 4ever. :P And of course; I always have to make my wuvable little Kratos an idiot. X3

ChaosGriffin: Meh, it'd be better if you liked Sheelos and Colloyd, but I'm just glad you're enjoying the story. :3

Midnight Eclipse713: Yessums, Sheelos, Gesea, Colloyd, and Kraine rule ALL. Well, in my opinion, anyways. :D

Suzu Fujibayashi: Not smacked. It's rather kicked-in-the-nuts. XD And the others just seemed to have... Disappeared. :P

Atleast three reviews and next chappie comes soon. :P

Cyu all later! >:D

P.S...

:gives reviwers cookies:

Okay, NOW I'll cyu all later. X3

oOo-Scarlet Kratos-oOo


	5. Jolly Rancher and Spaghetti Troubles

Mei- OMFM, I got the chapter up. :) (Actually, I had this finished for a while, just forgot to edit it a little...)

Eon- OMFM?

Mei- Oh my fawking Martel. :P

Sycara- Naughty naughty. You made up another version for fu-

Mei- And this is where I cut you off, because I don't swear that severely...

Lloyd- Riiiiiiight...

Mei- :shoots Lloyd: ... :ignores the wild protests of the screaming fangirls: ANYWAYS...

**WARNINGS: **One swear here, two swears there... Bleh, read it for yourself and find out how many there are. XD

Presea- ...

Regal- ...

Mei- Oh, and to those of you who like beginning tab entertainment, I'm going to replace Regal with an OC or a suggested official character from the first person you reviews with a profile. I'll just need:

Name:  
Age:  
Gender:  
Species: (Has to be humanoid enough to talk right...)  
General Appearance: (Hair, eyes, etc...)  
Personality:

Mei- Don't ask why I'm doing this, I just want to. XD

Regal- :thanks Martel for her wonderfully kind decision:

Mei- :shoots Regal dead then revives him:

Regal- ...Ow.

Sycara- ...Begin the damn story already; I'm getting boooooored... :yawns:

Mei- Alright, alright...

**oOoOo**

**Chapter 4: Jolly Rancher and Spaghetti Troubles  
**

"...You WHAT?" Genis screamed.

"SHHHHHH!" Lloyd desperately tried to shut the obnoxiously loud mage up.

"Lloyd! You're so.. So... _Evil_!" Genis spat.

"Oh, come on, it's not like YOU like them being together either!" Lloyd shot back, but looking rather pleading.

"As a matter of fact, Lloyd, I don't care!"

Lloyd clapped his hand over the teenager's mouth in hopes of shushing him. His hand merely came away red, due to the fact Genis punched it away.

"Ow! Since when did you get this strong?"

"Since now." Genis snaps, and turns away.

"Please? Pleeeeeeaaaase help me?" Lloyd whines, turning him around.

"Why do _I _need to help _you_ destroy Raine and Kratos' relationship?" Genis says angrily.

"Because - because... Well..." Lloyd stops for about two seconds before spluttering, "You're smarter than me!"

This half-way mollifies Genis, who stared open-mouthed at his best friend. Lloyd _never_ admitted that.

"I'll... I'll get in trouble. And being in trouble with Raine is not a funny buisiness." Genis muttered.

"I know! But she'll think _Kratos_ is the one to blame, not us! So then they'll split up!"

"Why are you so against their relationship? They didn't do anything to you-"

"Heh, riiiiiiight." Lloyd snorted.

"Well... Yeah, you're right. It's awkward having them so.. Well...Snog-ish around us." Genis murmured, scruffing the toe of his flip-flop against the concrete.

"Yeah! That's why we gotta split them up!" Lloyd says, getting genuinely excited now.

"Ohhhh boy. I'm gonna regret this." Genis sighed.

**oOo**

...Kratos was allergic to hot sauce.

Lloyd knew this, and so did Genis, after the swordsman informed him about it.

And that was why, at lunch, as they dined on spaghetti and meatballs, Kratos' face seemed to raidate a golden-scarlet color...

But let's go on a tour before that, shall we?

**oOo**

Lloyd and Genis rushed into the hotel kitchen, where Regal eagerly pursuited and begged the chefs to let him cook. After some difficult persuading, he finally manage to convince a female he would do no harm to her precious pots and pans.

"Hey, hey! Regal! Howzabout we help you with making lunch?" Lloyd shouted at the top of his lungs to catch the eye of the ex-convict, but severely irritated one of the others so much that they tossed a plate at Lloyd's head, where it connected quite successfully, and caused the teenager to collaspe.

"I don't need much help." Regal replied bemusedly, picking up the cracked porcelain off of Lloyd's head and setting it down on the counter.

"Aw, come on, we're bored and the others don't want us around them in the hotsprings." he whined, climbing to his feet with the minor help of Genis.

"Are you sure? What about Colette and Presea?" Regal asked, raising his eyebrow at them. Genis and Lloyd both blushed.

"W-well, we wanted them to ha-have some, um, quite time. I th-think we were b-bothering them too much, so I-I suggested that w-we leave them al-alone for a little while." Genis spluttered, trying to force the words off of the tip of his tongue.

"Riiiiiight..." Regal rolled his eyes.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?" Lloyd got down on his knees and performed his famous puppy face. He clasped his hands together.

A small smirk played on Regal's face.

"Fine, fine, fine. As long as you don't annoy the other cooks."

"YES!" Lloyd quickly stumbled to his feet. "Let the fun begin!"

And so, the 'fun' began.

Lloyd wasn't a bad cook, but he shouldn't be considered decent either.

At times, he found himself burning himself with intensely hot oil ("AGH! AGH! I'M ON FIRE! SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEEEE!"), or dropping a heavy plate full of food onto his foot ("Goddammit! STUPID FRICKIN' PLATE!" And then the plate would go sooooaaaaaaring and land on a poor chef's head...), or burning sometimes slightly burning the noodles ("Is spaghetti supposed to look like a big, black, mushy round thing?"), or slightly uncooking them ("Ewwwww... It tastes like ice... ACK! It _is _ice!").

"My Martel, Lloyd, you can't cook at all..." Genis muttered, scooping a large glob of perfectly-made spaghetti onto a plate.

"Amen." Regal sighed, doing the same.

And by the time they were finished, the kitchen was unreconizable. Small - er, large - amounts of noodles hung from the ceiling lights, tomato sauce coated random spots of the room, and plates' and dishes' fragments littered the no-longer-shiny tile floor. And the chef who had let Regal take over her station was furious - many of her precious cooking utencils had been reduced to splinters in Lloyd's process of 'cooking'.

Needless to say, Lloyd was no longer welcome in the kitchen. Unfortunately, Regal and Genis were booted out as well, the chefs proclaiming that they had been able to stop the 'reckless cook' but refused to do so.

But luckily for them - really lucky, as Raine had not heard of the news yet - it was time to serve the food. Genis and Regal both silently pitied anyone who received Lloyd's 'masterpieces'.

"Nice going, Lloyd." Genis grumbled, sitting down to their meal.

"What? Atleast Kratos got the one with an entire bottle of hot sauce added in." Lloyd said smugly.

"You're kidding me, right? Didn't you tell me he didn't only _hate_ hot sauce, but he was allergic to it?"

"Yeah, well... It's not life-threatening, is it?" Lloyd mumbled.

"You're asking _me_? You're his son!"

Well, they got their answer later. Along with a spluterring, choking, and practically dying Kratos, they were sent to their room. After Raine visited them, their butts were left sore.

Well, Genis' was; Lloyd's _nuts _were sore. Not to mention throbbing...

**oOo**

"My Martel!" Raine fumed, giving Kratos some medicine. "They just _have _to ruin the trip for us, don't they?"

"Well, atleast I'm fine now..." Kratos croaked.

"Fine my _ass_! You could've died!" the healer snapped. Kratos recoiled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you... It's just that when will they learn that if they don't want us together, they have to _talk _to us, not _kill _one of us!"

"..." Kratos gave his characteristic reply, putting his hand on one of his bloated cheeks.

"I just wish this trip would end..."

**oOo**

Sheena sighed in exasperation, resting her head on one of the sofa's cushions. Their trips _always _turned out like this; it was either Zelos or Lloyd ruining their vacation. Or it was sometimes even both. But she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere soon away from the group.

Half-opening her eyes, she felt someone sit down behind her. Lazily, she glanced over.

"Hey."

"...Hi Zelos."

Sheena looked away. Not too long ago, ever since the nightclub incident, Zelos had been trying to avoid her. Very un-Zelos-like. Sometimes she wondered if Zelos was eternally embarressed by what he did, or just wanted more and was waiting for the right time to strike.

"This trip has so far been pretty fun, right?" She looked back at him, a small smirk plastered onto his face. It looked more like a grimace.

"Meh, you could say that, sure, but it's really not fun to me." Sheena muttered.

"Aw, come on, live a little."

"I've already lived through more crap than I can handle."

"But you're still there in one piece, aren't ya?"

"Yeah.. Well... Good point." she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"What's wrong? Does your head hurt?"

"Nah... Well, kinda, but not really. It's just that our vacations _always _get ruined..."

"Meh, I agree. Next time, we should leave Lloyd behind." Zelos grinned like some kind of retarded lunatic.

Sheena stared at the Chosen. He was usually cheerful, but always had some seductiveness buried deep beneath his humor. Now he could be passed as a normal guy, looking for innocent fun.

...Something was wrong, and Sheena was going to find out what. Though, she had to admit, this was a pleasant change.

**oOo**

Genis frowned.

"Lloyd, you can't possibly think Raine will like this... And she won't think Kratos did it either; they sleep in the same bed."

Lloyd shrugged in response.

"You idiot."

"...Well, then, _you _come up with something." Lloyd snapped.

"Why do I even try to convince you not to do it?" Genis murmured, turning away.

"Aw, come on. All we gotta do is somehow make Raine fall off the bed _hard_, then she'll badly hurt her arm and blame Kratos for everything. It's one step up, eh?"

"Up the creativity ladder? No. Up the stupidity stairs? Yes. Definetely. Numero uno in the stupitity level. Besides, we're leaving tonight to go on with the roadtrip."

"DAMN!" Lloyd cursed, stamping his foot. "Well, we'll save it for later."

"...Save what for later?" a high voice asked from behind them. Lloyd started, then leapt around. He relaxed instantly as his eyes came into view of the owner of the voice.

"Nothing, Colette. Just a few candies we wanted to share with you and Presea."

"Really? Can I have some now?" Colette's eyes sparkled in delight. Lloyrd inwardly sighed in relief, but felt a pang of guilt that he was using Colette like this.

"Sure, just let me ask Gen-" Turning around, Lloyd stopped mid-word. Genis had somehow escaped without neither him nor Colette noticing. Lloyd grimaced. Coward. He probably though it was Raine. But he couldn't blame him; if it _had _been Raine, his nuts would never heal after her next little visit...

"Genis? But he's not there and never was there.." Colette said worriedly.

"Nah, it's okay. I've got some chocolate too." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a blue raspberry Jolly Rancher. He was lucky he saved it. Feeling slightly disappointed that he'd never get to taste the sweetness until the next time he saved up for a large-sized bag, he gave the tiny package to Colette.

"Wow! Thanks soooo much, Lloyd!" Colette squealed, then tackled him down to the ground. Or, in other words, pinned him against the wall. Lloyd gave an anime sweatdrop.

"It's just a Jolly Rancher..."

"Yeah, but _you _gave it to me, so it's a lot better than a regular one!" the little angel beamed. Lloyd chuckled.

"You're so weird, dork..."

"Weird and proud of it!" Colette saluted him. Lloyd laughed. He wondered where she got her new sense of humor, but let the matter drop. She probably was hanging out with Sheena and Zelos more often than he thought.

**_Later..._**

Colette gleefully opened the little wrapper and tossed it aside into the nearest waste basket, then tossed it into her waiting mouth. She froze. The little candy was awfully sour, and it had a smell of old, rotten cheese...

"Gack! Why is it so... So... Yucky-ish?" Colette asked to no one in particular, her large, gleaming eyes welling up with tears.

And then, just suddenly, Lloyd (who was somewhere else, as Colette would have questioned him to death if he were around) remembered something; the Rancher was over eight months old.

**oOo**

Regal stuffed their trunks into the back of the van, shivering in the chilly night air. His breath rose up in a gentle puff of mist. The sun had set awhile ago, and it was over nine o'clock. They would have left earlier, but there was some matter about Colette crying in Lloyd's arms about a decaying piece of candy or something. That interferred with much of the activity.

Now that everyone was packed and in the car, they could finally escape from the angry chefs and the drunken fool who had annoying Raine and was actually able to live to tell the tale.

"We're ready to go!" Regal announced as he entered the car. There was a feeble cheer as they drove out onto the highway, and then they were bound onward.

Colette snuggled deeper under Lloyd's neck, sitting with him in the back, accompanied by Genis. She had finally been silenced about the 'evil' Rancher and had forgiven Lloyd before he could actually comfort her. Lloyd was bewildered, alright, but he still nuzzled her with his chin and stroked her long, golden hair.

Sheena stretched out, her hand brushing Zelos'. He clasped it between his fingers, causing Sheena to look at him and then quickly gaze at something else as though trying to beat it in a staring contest. She felt awkward, but who wouldn't?

Presea would often find herself staring either out the window or at the moving shadow of Genis' head. Odd, yes, but she had nothing else to do, and she couldn't fall asleep, unlike a certain couple who sat in the front and were snuggly wrapped around eachother and breathing deeply.

Regal, however, felt cheerful. He even began to sing softly. However, a certain male mage didn't like it...

"Oh my Martel, Regal, do you want me to have nightmares again, tonight?"

**oOoOo**

Ha ha, lots of swearing. :) I'm NAUGHTEH...

...NO, not _that_ kind of naughty... >.>

Um... Anyways...

**Review Time!**

GyppyGirl2021: Nah, you're not a pervert. I've seen worse peeps. D: And yessums, those couples do RAWK.. Among us, that it. :P

Streek-had-returned471: I will... Once they get into a city. XD They're only in a hot springs-hotel thingy, so... I'll take your advice into consideration.

Midnight Eclipse713: Not much Kraine in here, sorreh. Had to add some of the others in, because this story isn't based around Kraine. XD But still some in there, for the loyal fans!

Amazon Bunny: lol Then I hope you enjoy this one too!

Miss Raine Sage: ...Little did they know that Lloyd has many many tricks up his sleeves. I'm thinking up of eviller ones, though, so watch out! XD

RavenGhost: Sorry, not a very quick update, but it's an update nonetheless. I'm thinking the next one'll be quicker. :P

Demon's Void: lol :salutes: Gesea, it is, then! Sorry, I just love Kraine and always have to squeeze in a little... Er, a lot. XD :calls over Raine to heal Demon because Mei hasn't updated quickly enough:

Suzu Fujibayashi: Yeah, but Raine already did that for him. XD Updated not very soon, buuuuut... The next one, I promise, will be a little faster. :3

X-Mirai-X: Virtual injuries are fuuuuun! XD And I've actually kissed myself in the mirror, but it was so stupid that I ended up laughing really really loudly. So loudly that my dad came in and asked what was so funny. LMAO That's where I got the idea... :D Anyways, uh, just call me Scarlet or even Mei. Scarlet Kratos is such a pain to type, especially when you're reviewing. And I'm not sure... I guess I just had to add some sort of mischeif for Raine. It's so fun to type what happens to the poor guy... XD

-We shall interrupt for a few seconds-

Eon- It's not fun at all... I think she left a scar...

Raine- Eheheheheh... :sweatdrop:

Mei- Well, if you weren't drunk, it wouldn't've happened. ;P :gets shot by Eon:

-Now returning to your regularly schedualed program-

Lil'Edthehacker40: Continued for the fan! Anyways, I'm not sure... At the moment, Zelos won't do any spying with a camera, but he miiiight.. Soon. XD :gets shot by Sheena:

Tenshi no Namida: Owies.. :ish shot: XD And there isn't much Kraine in this chappie, but enough humor to get you chuckling. :P

Professor Sage: Nah, she was kidding to get 'em scared. She _can_, but it's not recomended. That's what she was told when she came to America, but _of course_ Symphonians never listen to us. XD And I hope ya keep on reading then!

MEEP! I got shot a lot.. x.Xu Buuuuuut, I bet none of you care and just want cookies. :D

:hands out a plateful of cookies to each person:

:slumps back, tired: Man, baking all those cookies can sure wear you out...

Meh, you BETTER review. Review and you'll get a bluebery muffin. :P That and a quick update. And you'll probably heal aaaaallll my woeful injuries... Sooooo...

Nyo!

oOo-Scarlet-chan-oOo


	6. Lloyd's Brilliant, Evil, Twisted Plan

Scarlet-chan- I'm so sorry! I didn't update for a while, but now I suddenly got better at writing and I've got some more ideas. And I will use all your charras. Just in alternate chappies or somethin.

Suzy- Yaaaayyyy! I'm making an appearance! XD :does a little jig:

Sycara- Be nice on Mei, dearie. She's a bit slow. :)

Scarlet-chan-...

Suzy- Gotcha. :3

Eon- Like, ell oh ell. :)

Presea-...

Lloyd-...I'm so evil in this chapter. X3

Scarlet-chan- Uh huh... That's nice... Yes, Lloyd is right, actually, for once in his life. (:angry noises from you-know-who in the background:) This - actually, next chapter will be a Kraine-lover's nightmare. ;3

Sycara-...Goddammit, get on with the other crap. >:O

Scarlet-chan-...

**WARNING:** There is one extreme swear somewhere in the middle. Yeah, you heard me, The 'f' word. Be careful if you hate swears. And it's from our guest, Kratos. X3

Scarlet-chan- Disclaim, please.

Lloyd-...

Sycara-...

Eon-...

Presea- ...Mustard is delicious. :)

Suzy- Uhhhh... Well... Tales of Symphonia does not belong to Scarlet Kratos, and I am being hired for two gumdrops an hour, which I suppose is pretty good. X3

Scarlet-chan- ...:gives Suzy her damn gumdrops:

Suzy- Thank yoooouuuu... :P

Scarlet-chan- Uhh... Let's just get this thing started.

**oOoOo**

**Chapter 5: Lloyd's Brilliant, Evil, Twisted Plan**

Regal's eyes seemed to sneak their way down. Always trying to close themselves, the car's passengers were often jolted awake when they found out they were practically colliding with the car nearby.

"For the last time, Regal, wake up!" Kratos said loudly, shaking the ex-convict's shoulder. This in turn woke up Genis, Sheena, and Colette, but caused Regal to bounce up in his seat alertly. Not to mention that they veered off the road and slammed lightly into a straggly bush.

"Eeep!" Regal squeaked. Kratos rolled his eyes. For once in his life, it was _him _who was becoming inpatient; the others were flushed a deathly pale color and looked absolutely terrified.

They got back on the road after some hassle.

"How about _I _drive?" Kratos sighed.

"Where would I sit then?"

"...Next to Raine." Kratos sounded rather reluctant, but the driver's seat was suited for one person.

"Uhhhh... Sure. Just let me get to the nearest gas sta..ti...on..." A moment of silence passed quickly and the car seemed to slow down immediately.

"WAKE UP!" Kratos barked.

Regal jumped once more, and feverishly said a long, incohoherent stream of apologies.

In the meantime, the passengers in the back were having their own conversations...

"I'll never get any sleep..." Sheena muttered, snuggling deep into Zelos' protection. Zelos seemed mildly - oh, alright, he was ectastic - pleased and wrapped his left arm comfortingly around her.

"You will with me around you..." he said playfully.

"Hmmmm... Maybe..." Sheena gave a small, unseen smile.

Presea onlooked their activity with the mildest interest, then felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Hm?"

She turned around, face-to-face with Genis. He had stretched out from his seat, his seatbelt straining lightly against his shoulders and his arms resting on the shoulder's of Presea's seat. He looked rather bored.

"I feel a little bad for Regal... He hasn't gotten much sleep 'cause of us."

"Perhaps... But Kratos knows how to drive, correct?" Presea asked, turning around to face him on her seat. The belt protested, but it worked after she shifted them under her weight.

"Yeah, and Lloyd knows a little... Zelos isn't a bad one but he's way better than Lloyd... And Sheena is just a little under Kratos and Raine. So, uh, considering, Regal is the best driver."

"...Do you know how to drive?" A small smile played on the axe-girl's face.

"Uh, no... But I want t-to. I don't think I'm at the legal age l-limit." Genis said, blushing lightly and scratching the back of his head.

"I'm at the age limit, obviously, but it is not possible for me as I appear as a young one." Presea muttered.

"Um, w-well... You'd probably b-be a bet-better driver than me."

"And how do you know?" Presea's faint smile made it's appearance again.

"Uhhhh... I-I don't kn-know, really..."

Their simple little conversation had gotten both so close...

Of course, it had to be ruined, as at that moment, they had stopped at the gas station. Presea sighed rather sadly and reluctantly pulled herself away from the mage. Genis scooted back, still looking rather flustered. Odd, Presea seemed to like him more than usual...

As Genis' face seemed to form a smile, Colette sighed in relief.

"I was scared, Lloyd..."

"Yeah, you told me that, like, fifty times." Lloyd said, rolling his eyes. But nonetheless, he kept his hand over hers.

"Well, it _was_ scary..." Colette said in a small voice. Lloyd smiled and brought her in close.

But, alas, their kiss was not to be expected. Because of that very moment, with Raine glancing out, she saw a lonely hitchhiker by the side of the road, baring opalescent ocean hair that seemed to glow a deathly pale color in the faint moonlight. Gasping, she shrieked, "It's Yuan!"

This stopped everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

"Holy -" his swear was cut off by Raine's flashing eyes in the rearview mirrow, "-she's right!" Genis squawked. Regal slammed down on the breaks and everyone found his or herself in mortal pain from their overprotective seatbelts. That and quite a few heads connected in a harsh way with the seat in front of them.

Zelos, being the nearest, slid open the door and Yuan waved cheerfully.

"'Ello. Thank you so much for stopping by and picking me up; I've been waiting for hours and have been hoping to catch my frien-" the Renegade leader stopped mid-word, staring at the nine. No one said anything for the long stretch of the two minutes.

"Hello, Yuan." Kratos said casually, breaking the silence. Yuan gasped.

"It's you guys! It's really you people!"

"'You people'? Keep talking like that and we won't let you in." Lloyd said crossly.

"That's not our first concern." Raine said sternly as Yuan squashed himself in with Lloyd, Colette, and Genis in the back. There was hardly enough room to breathe. And poor Genis, being stunted from his slow half-elven growth, was being crushed to death. "Our first concern is how you got here. You never joined us when we were transported."

"Yeah, well, I caught up later, and there I was, looking for you peeps! Now, come on, onto our next destination!" he said triumphantly.

Kratos rolled his eyes. Raine tried not to giggle. Which was still highly unusual.

"Uhhhhh... Where _are_ we going next?" Genis squeaked from the back.

"...Perhaps a water park." Regal said, scratching his chin while looking down on a long list of ideas.

Raine froze. She even stopped breathing.

"A w-water p-p-pa-park?" she stuttered.

"Yes, a water park." he responded firmly. "There is one nearby, and I need to get a cheap refill for gas. Besides, we need the f-"

"Hot springs, I can take, but a water park? Who's idea was this?"

Lloyd made an odd noise, like a combination of a snort and a squeal.

Kratos slapped his forehead. "Just get to the nearest station so I don't have to worry about our lives..."

Within a few minutes, Regal had miraculously parked the car by a gas station safely. Kratos and Regal clambered out to switch places, then the ride continued.

"Man, I'm tired." Lloyd's yawn was loud and annoying, sounding vaguely like a raspberry. Genis rolled his eyes.

"You were just all hyper and annoying a few seconds ago..."

"Maybe, but I'm still beat."

"...Retard..."

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me!"

"Brat."

"...Bigger brat."

"Biggest brat."

"Biggest brat times infinity."

"Biggest brat times infinity... plus one."

"Hey! That's cheating!" Lloyd snapped. "Well, if you want to play that way... Biggest brat-"

"Would you two shut up?" Kratos yelled, the muscles in his neck tightening.

"Sorry." Genis said meekly. "He started it."

"Did not!"

"Did too."

"Did not!"

Did too!"

"Are your car rides always like this?" Yuan asked Sheena, who nodded grimly in response.

Genis and Lloyd continue to snarl at eachother. Regal slumped into the window, looking defeated.

"We're doomed." Raine muttered.

"So very doomed." Kratos agreed wholeheartedly.

"...I'm going to burn in the pits of hell..." Regal murmured, clucthing his ears. "No, even hell would be better than this..."

"Just go to sleep. Everything'll... Be better. Hopefully." Raine said soothingly, though her uncertainty showed up like a beacon.

"I wish you were right..." But she _was_ right. When the world and the sound began to fade, he was trapped in blissful silence.

As for the others... Well, let's just say no one got much sleep that night.

**oOo**

Raine felt a gentle shake on her shoulders. She started, and opening her eyelids, found auburn eyes staring back.

"Good morning." Kratos said, using a half-smile that had usually been occupying his face for a few months.

"What?"

Raine looked out the window, past the sleeping form of Regal. The moon had set but the sun had not risen yet. They had arrived at their next... Adventure.

"We're here."

"Already?" she yawned, staring at the loming terror in the distance. She pursed her lips.

"Unfortunately for you, yes."

"Why did Lloyd _have _to suggest a water park?" she muttered.

The little smile tugged wider at his lips. "Because he knew you were deathly afraid of water."

"It's not funny!" Raine said angrily. "I used to love the water, but - b-but..."

"Shhhhh... It's okay." Kratos intertwined her cold fingers with his.

"...As long as I don't enter the water, I'll be fine."

"...I won't let you then." Kratos whispered. He leaned forward and they were immediately immersed in a deep kiss.The romantic scene would have been a child's nightmare. And, of course, Lloyd's.

Which, to the teen's great misfortune, was his very first sight when the world flickered on brightly in his eyes. No one got any deep sleep that morning as a screams tore across the silence.

And Kratos and Raine were caught.

**oOo**

"Making out in the car..." Regal muttered. "What idiots."

"Idiots in love." Sheena reminded him.

"In front of everybody, though? When just one person - like Lloyd - could be awake, peeking under their eyelids, watching? What is Genis and Presea picked that up?"

"...I'll bet you anything you and Alicia did that too." Zelos smirked.

"..." Regal said nothing but blushed a deep shade of scarlet.

"Besides, why would you care? Genis and Presea aren't anywhere near doing that. They're just getting to know eachother more than friends." Sheena yawned, leaning back on her chair.

The group was scattered in a large cafe at their next stop. Sheena, Regal, and Zelos dined together as Kratos 'watched over' Lloyd and Colette and Raine was in charge of Genis and Presea.

"You didn't have to split them up though. Look at Kratos. He keeps trying to catch Rainy-chan's gaze." Zelos sighed, pointing lazily.

"'Rainy-chan'?" Sheena repeated, eyeing Zelos.

"What? You want me to call you 'Shii-chan'?" Zelos asked mildly, encircling a crimson curl of hair around his finger.

"N-no..."

Regal rolled his eyes. "You told me that Presea and Genis were just 'getting to know eachother more than friends'. What about you two?"

Cricket chirped - er, humans - as Zelos and Sheena stared wide-mouthed at him.

"Heh..."

Meanwhile, at another friendly table...

Giggle. Giggle. More giggles. And, of course, don't forget the giggles. Kratos gripped his head in frustration. When the hell would Colette _ever_ stop giggling? It was the eternal curse of never-ending giggles. Atleast Raine put a stop to her gentle laughter at some point, but noooo - with Colette it was a phrase here, followed by a giggle, then some more laughter, and then a barely-noticable sentence that was chased by _another. Frickin'. Giggle._

_ARRGHHHH... _Kratos screamed in his mind, biting his tongue so hard that blood soaking the roof of his mouth within seconds.

"Hey, Colette - can I take your waffles?"

Giggle.

"Sure..."

More giggling.

Even as Lloyd wolfed down the food...

_MORE. ANNOYING. FUCKING. GIGGLES. ARGHHHHHH. _The seraph felt as though his scalp was being ripped out.

The pain. Oh, the pain.

Aaaanndd... We can't forget the others...

Raine sighed. She looked over at Kratos's table. Colette looked like she was dying of laughter. Kratos himself looked like... Well, he was really dying... And Lloyd was just choking down his sixteenth waffle. Normal behavior.

"Hey, Raine - do you think you can get some more milk? Presea's still thirsty."

"No, no, Genis, I am well. I shall just drink this odd liquid..."

"No! NO! Presea! T-that's... That's -"

Some silence as Presea tried the 'odd liquid'.

"This tastes quite delightful. What is it?"

"...Mustard."

"Mmmmm... Delicious. Do you wish to have some,Genis? Though, it is not quite a liquid,it can still be swallowed..."

Raine was still tuned out when Genis couldn't refuse to say no and found himself with a rash on his tongue.

...Genis was allergic to mustard.

**oOo**

Of course.

Of course it would come to it. When the children darted through their swim clothing, where they spashing the water and dunked their heads under, coming up breathless barely seconds later - of course it would come.

The time... To enter the dreaded water park.

Oh! Where the chlorine-bleached liquid was everywhere, on slides, on sidewalks, on the people, on the food... Everywhere.

Oh! Where the children mercilessly daunted the ones would was unable to swim and glided through the water like streamlined fish in schools.

Oh! Where adults with unsightly visage and horrible hair growth (mainly on the legs, chest, etc...) tanned themselves with far too much sunscreen, thinking they were more beautiful or handsome than the rest.

Oh! Where Raine Sage would come to meet her demise... Or would she?

The gates led to the kiddie pools. Naturally, they were first. Children, ranging from the littlest who bore not a single trace of garments, to the elder race, who wore revealing binkinis and trotted past with their head helds high. Gentle spinklers rained down on the many kids, who danced around and splashed to their hearts content.

Raine skirted the pools, in which her sandals barely touched the wet pavement.

Next came the larger pools, for the older crowds. Children from age ten to oldies in their eighties flourished in the overflowing basins, their yells more pride-filled than the little children, more louder and more dominant to a newcomer's ears.

Bikinis galore.

Raine kept far away from the wilder groups. Her sandals didn't even get wet this time.

Beyond them were slides. Oh, so many slides. So many it would make a kid wet his boxers or whatever substituted for his swimtrunks. To Raine they were just corkscrews of death; rushing water sliding a victim down the smooth, curved surface, shooting them out into the deep water below, letting them 'perish' in their footstools of wetness.

Of course, no one _actually_ drowned, but Raine thought if she ever even touched the slick sides of a waiting, cunning, evil water slide, she would surely choke and die.

Her arm got bruised as she pushed as far as she could away from the slides, her elbows scraping the sides of the restroom building as thought she were trying to pry a wedge of concrete out.

Lloyd tried not to giggle.

Honestly, he did.

But when one giggles, others do too. (Colette not included; she always giggled... As told by Kratos.)

And then a deathstare silenced everything.

Even past these 'monstosities' was a human-made beach, complete with truckfuls of sand leading into the salty line's edge, wicker green lawn chairs, and assorted beach umbrellas. People lazed around here, even the younger ones. No one was in a hurry at the beach. Atleast, no one but a particular female half-elf.

"Relax, Raine, nothing's going to bite you," Kratos reassured Raine over and over again.

"_You _try barely surviving in a whirlpool after being thrown into a new land at a young age with nothing for a possession but your baby brother!" the professor snapped. Kratos recoiled at her words. She stomped away, not even apologizing.

Lloyd smirked. "Ha ha ha! My brilliant, evil, twistedplan is unfolding!" His maniacal laughter scared off some kids who were beginning to ask him to move out of the doorway of the men's bathroom.

By the time the day ended, Kratos and Raine would be seperated. Permenantly.

**oOoOo**

I did no revisions, read-overs, or other stuff whatsoeva, so go away. X3

**Review Time!**

SangoGrl64: Kk. Thanks a lot. :P

Professor Sage: Ehhh? What do you mean by ">"? D:

Midnight Eclipse713: Just a moment. :)

adri66215: lol Thanks so much, adri! X3

Chibi Sheik: Alright. you'll see your charra soon in the beginning tab notes. ;3

Miss Raine Sage: More of Useless needed. D: Desperately.

X-Mirai-X: X3;;;; :dies: You reviews are always so huge and stuff. I take all request to heart. :) Yessums, some Jolly Ranchers are pure EVIL. >:O And there will be some Gesea in t3h next chappie, I promise. :P And you'll see your charra l8er too. :D

GyppyGirl2021: Tsk, tsk, tsk, Gypp. X3 Well, I should hope I stays on your fav. list. :P

Demon's Void: Thank yas! You'll see your charrie in some later chapter, too. I promise. :3

Suzu Fujibayashi: Lloyd's gonna get a lot meaner, so watch out!

eastercat: lol Thanks for reading! Hope you keep reviewing. :P

...I did say you all get blueberry muffins, eh? Well, here they are. :P :passes 'em out:

More muffins to come. I hope...

Anyways, here's some sneak peeks...

T3H SNEAK PEEKS:

_Raine jumped at the sight of a gentle ripple from the wave pool. She ran from the noise of the soft gurgle by the Lazy River. She fainted at the thought of getting into one of the noisy older pools._

_She was, in ways, being a coward._

_Everyone knew it. Even Regal. Even Kratos. Even her own brother._

_But none more than her own original F student._

_By the end of the day, Kratos and Raine weren't talking._

-o-O-o-

_The moment the bitter words left his tongue, he regretted it._

_A slap rang out through the kiddie pool area. Sheena, being nearest to the argueing couple, immediately turned around to watch, look so many other spectators._

_"Coward? Don't use that word one me. Never. If you say it one more time... No. I'm already leaving." Then, tartly getting up, the healer turned her back on him._

END SNEAK PEEKS - READ THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Getting exciting, isn't it? X3 Well, anyways, cyu at the next chappie...

oOo-Scarlet-chan-oOo


	7. Mustardy Goodness

Scarlet-chan-... Hi. No updation for a long time because I had to make some major changes and I still have a back-breaking amount of homework. >

Melany- :looks around: This is a weird place.

Presea- ...

Lloyd- ...I'm BORED. Let's go raid Scarlet's pantry.

Melany- ... o.Ou

Eon- I think I saw some Oreos in there. :3

Sycara- Oooooooooo-

Scarlet-chan- SHUT UP. -.-;;;; Anyways, yeah, sorry for the long gap, I hope the next one will be up sooner... And since I'm so lazy and tired and whatnot, I'll just get on with the story and skip the warnings and disclaims, since it's all the regular crap... Next time I dun think I'll even add the beginning tab...

**oOoOo**

**Chapter 6: Mustard-y Goodness **

It was going well. For a certain teen's plan, anyways.

Raine jumped at the sight of a gentle ripple from the wave pool. She ran from the noise of the soft gurgle by the Lazy River. She fainted at the thought of getting into one of the noisy older pools.

She was, in ways, being a coward.

Everyone knew it. Even Regal. Even Kratos. Even her own brother.

But none more than her own original F student.

He had suggested the water park for this reason and for this reason only. Okay, maybe he also wanted to get away with the fact he wanted to have the time of his life with his giggling girlfriend, but Lloyd was becoming clever and crafty. His plans weren't actually formed well, but atleast other magic-like ways were working.

By the end of the day, Kratos and Raine weren't talking.

It had happened like this; Raine had hidden herself behind her favorite novel, bathed in suntan lotion and sitting in the farthest seat from the water.

Then Kratos decided to check on her.

Needless to say, he tried to persuade her to join him in the wave pool.

And, needless to say, he failed.

So, getting slightly pissed, he said angrily, "Come on, Raine! You're ruining this for me!"

"Well, why aren't you going in with your own son? He seems to need you more at the moment."

"Oh, you just want an excuse."

"But it's the truth. It's good for quality father-son time."

"...Raine, you know he wants to be left alone."

"So?"

"So? Why should I annoy him further? Do you have any other people I could spend my day with?"

"...Go off and annoy Lloyd. I'm _not _going anywhere 10 feet near that water."

"What? You're that afraid of water? What did it ever do to you?"

"You want to know what? It nearly drowned me. And _excuse me_ for saying so." Raine had replied angrily.

"Excuse you what?" Kratos had said sarcastically. "Excuse you for being so... I don't know... Such a coward?"

The moment the bitter words left his tongue, he regretted it.

A slap rang out through the kiddie pool area. Sheena, being nearest to the argueing couple, immediately turned around to watch, look so many other spectators.

"Coward? Don't use that word one me. Never. If you say it one more time... No. I'm already leaving." Then, tartly getting up, the healer turned her back on him.

"...Traitor." Her voice was harsh and tinged with supreme anger. She left the seraph, dazed, his heart throbbing and his cheeks burning red. And it wasn't from the harsh golden beams.

By the time that sun itself had contently set behind the salty surface of the lake, Raine had requested she switched places with Sheena from Colette's room. Regal looked dumbfounded, but he let the change happen. So that's how Kratos found himself staring at Sheena, his slightly wet clothing hanging off of his slightly muscular frame as though they themselves were confused and flabberghasted, and staring at Sheena's form under the sheets.

"C'mon - let's just get this over with." Sheena muttered.

"..." Kratos blushed. There was only one bed, as Regal thought Raine would stay with Kratos, not the busty summoner.

"The bed is huge. We'll get our seperate halves." Sheena pulled the blanket open for Kratos to slide under. Still, he hesitated.

Sheena sighed, "Look, all you had was a lover spat. She'll get it over probably by tomorrow, or if she's still angry, the tops'll be the next few days where she cools down. Now, come _on_. I'm not going to stay up all night. You're welcome to, but you still have this giant half of the bed to use."

And then she conked out.

But Kratos remained awake the rest of night, just as she had offered. With one single person on his mind.

**oOo**

Raine couldn't sleep. Espcially since Colette kept bugging her to ask why she yelled at Kratos.

It was only when she flickered out the light that Colette let a little "Eeep!" escape, and then dove under her own sheets. Apparently Colette was still afraid of the dark and didn't want to leave the comfort of the sheets just to annoy her teacher.

And then it was bliss. Simply bliss.

But not all the way. One single man lingered in her mind. Even if Raine didn't see his expression as she left him, her mind painted it on the sides of her skull anyways, And though try as she might, she could not wash it off with her strongest effort, not scrub it away so she could fall into a troubled sleep.

Alas, having a quick and hot temper was a problem.

_This like another one of this stupid romance novels I had decided to read last week_, Raine thought sourly. _He'll end up chasing me around, but I'll 'fall' for another man and we'll eventually become in love again, but then it will be a love triangle.  
_  
She tossed and turned, ruffling the sheets and eventually hearing Colette's soft, rhythmic breathing as an answer. But the coolness on her legs only pressed down harder as she attempted to shut her eyeslids, out the world, and her own mind pestering her with questions.

And she would be going insane later if she didn't find an answer. Quick.

**oOo**

_Sometime, later in the morning..._

Genis yawned and exited his room with nothing more than a rumpled T-shirt, torn sneakers that he usually never wore, and jeans with the famous ripped holes at the knees. Lloyd was still snoring behind him, but with the little money Raine spared him, he could get his own, peaceful and quiet breakfast.

On this roadtrip, let alone any vacation, that was paradise.

The mage avoided eye contect with everyone as he made his way downstairs to the breakfast cafe. But he didn't realize a certain ax-girl was waiting in the doorway for him. Looking at his feet, he bumped directly into her, and they tripped and fell into eachother's arms just off the inside of the cafe. Very embarressing.

...Indeed.

"P-Presea!" Genis choked, getting off of her and pulling the girl to her feet. "Ar-are you okay? I'm so so-sorry! I didn't mean to-!"

"No, Genis, I am fine." Presea replied, dusting him and herself off, and then giving him a soft smile. "Perhaps I can accompany you with your... Break... Uhhh... Brackfest?"

Genis chuckled a little. Somehow it came out like a dog being smothered to death. "It's called breakfast. And s-sure you can jo-join me."

They picked a windowside table. Presea sat down while her new boyfriend stuttered, promising he could return with their meal.Presea nodded in agreement, though looking a little sheepish as though she should've helped.

Within 10 minutes, Genis returned with a platter of English muffins, milk, and some buttered toast. He set it down between them, then picked his seat next to the skeptical axe-girl.

"Why does this plate not contain must... Muster... Mustar... Mustard?" she asked sadly, trying out the unfamiliar word on her tongue.

"O-oh, if you really want it, I'll... I'll go look for some, then!"

Presea looked at him wide-eyed. "Well... If you really must go through all this trouble for-"

She had not even finished her sentence, which would have ended in a 'thanks', when Genis had swept off in his epic adventure to search for Presea's cure of sadness - mustard.

**-.-.-.-**

_He journeyed through the large, maze-like kitchen, demanding every cook he stopped to find some mustard. Disturbed, the cooks told him they were out of stock this morning and some would arrive in the afternoon._

_It was the same story over and over again, but the word quickly spread that every chef had to say this to an insane boy looking for his 'treasure'._

_Obviously, it was a lie. Just to get the young, bold child off of their backs._

_Undaunted, the mage continued on with his quest, shoving through the now-yelling cooks to look for the mustard. He ferociously bit one of the arms that came his way - and he found himself lying on the tiled ground just outside of the kitchen._

I'll go back later, _he decided, when he would have a strong enough weapon to defeat these vicious cooks. But until then, he kept to his path. Marching through the aisles and aisles of seats and tables, children laughed and giggled at this strange act and soon joined him. Looking back, the bold adventurer saw sixteen laughing eyes staring at him, following his every move._

Ah, finally tribes of the ancient land have come to help me. _he smiled. Yelling, "Let us continue!", he heard several of the followers shouting - atleast trying to - his sentence in a new, garbled way. He simply chuckled and continued._

_The path led to giant machines that had a lethal, silver glint. Using a quick dodgeroll to his right into these ghastly beasts, he saw they had numerous openings and little lables above them indicating something that he did not understand. Slinking past the strang monstrosities, he found himself at the "Help area". Here lay weapons; sticks with round, curved heads that must have been used for firing wall-shattering ammo, sticks with forked shafts sticking out that would have pierced any skin, and treacherous rods withjagged bladesthat were like mini-swords._

_But the most beautiful things of all... Were the packages of mustard. Yes, mustard. The thing he had been waiting for..._

**-.-.-.-**

Of course it didn't actually happen like that, but he figured he'd humor Raine later with his story. Considering her current mood, she needed it.

Returning to their table, Genis held several handfuls in his arms of mustard packets. Presea squealed with delight at the sight of them, took them from his hold, and stashed all but one into her pockets. And then there was ripping sounds and giggling and mustard-y goodness and anime sweatdrops and oh, how wonderful it was for Presea...

Genis just munched on his solitary piece of toast whilst staring at his friend across the table, restraining the urge to roll his eyes.

Honestly, he didn't what to expect from Presea anymore. She probably hung out with Colette far more than he thought.

**oOo**

Cramming on a spare tank top, ripped black pants with buckles, and sandals, Sheena left Kratos quietly to go get some breakfast. Kratos had apparently not much sleep; his eyes were squinted shut, hair far more messier than usual, and muttering nonsense under his breath. Probably he was being tormented in his dreams.

Hey - she didn't know how to cure nightmares. So she merely left him in search for food.

In the hallways, by coincidence, she bumped into Zelos and Yuan.

"Oh, hey guys." Sheena stifled a yawn. Yuan was now Zelos's roomate. Oddly, they got along fine, even if they countered eachother's snide remarks and insults were flying every few seconds. Possibly even in their sleep.

"Hi Sheena," they both chorused. Yuan had his hair down for once, which made him look strangely very... Sinister. And extremely hot.

"Soooo... How are you people faring with eachother?"

"Pretty well, thanks." Zelos said contently. The Renegade leader made a face at him behind his back and performed some fake giggles, in which caused Sheena to try and hold back her own. "Anyways - let's go grab some grub, then lounge around the pools."

"Zelos! You're so perverted - you just wanna see some more hot babes in bikinis..." Sheena shrieked.

"Heh, that's him for you. What did you expect?"

"Well...Unless _you _dress up in a bikini for me, right now, Sheena, then I'll be okay..." Zelos purred, completely ignoring Yuan.

By the time Sheena stomped off, Zelos lay on the ground with a large bump on his head with Yuan right beside him, choking with laughter.

_That - that Zelos! _she stormed. _I thought he was being so nice, so romantic! I guess he was just waiting for a moment to use such pervertedness on me..._

And then she felt someone ram into her waist.

"Genis!"

"Oh, Martel, I'm so sorry Sheena!" the mage cried, jumping back into Presea.

"...Genis, you are indeed colliding with many innocents today. First me, then that waitress, then Sheena. Is something perhaps wrong?" the ax-girl wondered aloud.

"N-no!" he spluttered, blushing once more and removing his tangled mass of arms and legs from her.

They heard a snicker behind Sheena's tall form and saw the source was Zelos.

"So... Did you two hook up yet?"

_Smack._

"Zelos!"

"...I think I just lost a beauty mark." the ex-Chosen whimpered. Yuan was once more preoccupied with keeping his manical laughter from letting him falling to the ground beside his 'friend'.

"...'Hook up'?" Presea mumbled. "What does this strange term mean?"

"It means... To get a boyfriend or a girlfriend." Yuan replied mildly, his chuckles quickly under control.

"Yeah!" Sheena raged. "And I thought, you, of all people, Zelos, would once realize that I _hate_ people like you!"

Zelos sniffled, still curled up on the ground. Genis and Yuan exchanged a look that clearly said _let's scram before **our** asses get whomped._

"Ummm... Presea and I gotta go... Um..."

"We're going to the pools!" Yuan offered.

"Yeah!"

"...What? Genis, you said we would visit Raine first..." Presea said, confused.

"W-well... Uhhh..."

"Okay! We'll visit Raine first and _then _go to the park!" Yuan offered, sending a furtive glance at Genis.

"Yes! That's an awesome plan!"

Their speech was very quick and stumbling, so that their words collided and not a single phrase was left unharmed. Sheena was still struggling with their abrupt end of visiting and undecipherable speech long after they were gone.

Then she glanced down at her feet. She realized the idiot still didn't get up - he wanted her to help him.

She sighed. In utmost defeat.

"And I raise my white flag again..." she muttered, ducking down and roughly pulling Zelos up as she erected.

"I thought you said you hated me..." he whispered, a look of hurt and innocence on his face.

"Yeah, well, I was saying I hated people _like_ you, not you yourself." Sheena responded matter-of-factly.

Zelos sniffled again, once off of Sheena's grasp.

"Oh, alright, stop before I have to murder you... In a hug."

And then, without warning, Zelos launched himself onto Sheena in a rib-cracking glomp that left her dazed and pinned against a wall.

"Agh! Zelos... Get off of me!"

He sniffled again and looked at her with those irresitable dazzling ocean irises, and she felt her dislike melting away in spite of her.

"You... You're scaring me..."

"Well..." he said playfully, the little naive gleam disappearing and a naughty one replacing it, "Wanna go out with me?"

"..." Sheena remained silent and tossed her eyes somewhere to the side of his head. If she kept gazing into those glimmering ultramarine eyes, she would have immediately said 'yes.'

"Aw... C'mon... Pweeeeaaaase?"

He fluttered his unusually long eyelashes. Sheena blinked, her eyes snapping back to his own.

"Okay, okay, fine, whatever!" she spurted, suddenly loud and angry again. "Just get off of me!"

He caught her in a kiss. _Again._

And then a slap began what was to be a long and beautiful relationship... Or would it?

**oOo**

Raine blantantly refused to be in the same room as her ex-boyfriend. Even as much as Genis pleaded, just to move on and forget, she wouldn't.

"He called me a coward. Anyone who even dares to mention that word in front of my face is asking for a kick." she had snapped coldly at his pleads.

When Kratos hopefully entered a room in search of his lost 'princess', she would quickly mysteriously come up with an excuse and go off running.

But, at three o'clock in the afternoon, when he had rushed past a joyful Zelos and annoyed Sheena (who, I might add, were sitting awfully close), he caught up with the pompous healer in the dining room.

And then his jaw dropped.

Regal and Raine were chatting. You could tell Regal looked rather nervous, and by the quaver in his voice that he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He kept asking, "Are you sure you and Kratos was fully split?"

And Raine would just go, "For me, yes. But if he keeps following me, that's proof he's just another stalker." And her voice would be smooth and very seductive, very unlike the Raine Sage he knew and loved.

Little did he know, Regal had been envious of him that he had snagged the Professor so easily. Just envious, though - he already believed it was too late for him to ever fall in love again. There was truly no jealousy involved. However, now that he believed Kratos was just a loner once more, he could lure her in; or rather, her pull him in. And Kratos knew, with Raine's fluid body movements that showed off her large chest and streamlined figure, with her bell-like voice silky and sweet and soft with just a tinge of bitterness, with her reeling personality, Regal was falling hook, line, and sinker.

The sight of Raine attracting another man could sprain an eyeball. And a heart.

"Yo, 'Tos." he heard a soft whisper behind him. He averted his gaze from the disgusting sight of Regal and Raine, and found his eyes staring into curious ultramarine ones.

"Yes, Zelos?" he replied through gritted teeth, thoroughly aggravated. He knew Zelos wanted to offer dating advice, but he was in no mood to follow the ridiculous hilarity of helpful hints.

"You know what the Ultra Gorgeous Cool Beauty is doing, right?"

"...No." he felt even less heartened than to physically correct Zelos of Raine's name. And _that_ was a miracle all in itself.

"Well, she's 'taking' Regal as revenge. See, when you called her a coward, she took that to heart. You know her, don't ya? Well, I'd suggest throwing it back full force. You know, the ol' 'you broke my heart and now I'll break yours'. Works every time, I assure y-"

"He doesn't need your dating crap." Sheena said shortly as she pulled him back by the ex-Chosen's earlobe, which was rapidly flushing a scarlet shade. "Besides, we're directly in the middle of our _own_ date, thank you very much."

And he was left alone.

It was a devious plan. Every instinct told him not to follow Zelos's plan, and he had no notion of it, but the word _fair_ just began echo over and over again.

Kratos began quivering, then quickly ran out of the room, his trademark auburn hair flying behind him. He saw he momentarily grasped Raine's attention, and a look of sheer sadness enshadowed her face, but then she turned back to Regal.

He was running away from _her_, and everyone knew it.

**oOoOo**

Sorry, that chap sucked so badly... -.-;;;; And I won't reply to the reviews, because you'd all know what I'd say...

:yawns: Cyu l8er, folks...

oOo-Scarlet-chan-oOo


	8. Author's note W00T

'Sup? Scarlet here. -- well, that was kind of obvious.

Anyhow, most of you probably noticed I NEVER finished anything I start.

That bums me, too.

Well, this story has ground to a screeching halt. I'm sorry -- that's the way it's gotta be.

I'll be deleted it within one or two months...but not until I re-make it.

Yup, it'll be the same storyline, drama, and mild _mild_ humor. (I'm not very funny, actually. I'm sorry.)

Same couples...even though Symphonia has lost its crazed, fangirl status with me.

Especially Kraine.

Raine + Regal?

A possibility in the next story, actually. I'm sorry. KratosRaine seems a bit...dull to me...after lusting after the couple to become official. But that lust has kinda dwindled away, now.

SO, ANYWAYS, this extra chapter is just to inform you, a new, possibly better, Roadtrip Rampage will take this RR's place, in shiny plastic and a new lemon scent.

And, of course, more Kratos barf. In vivid detail.

o-Scarlet-o


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